


'Round Midnight

by hulucthulhu



Series: Easy Does it [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Feels, Feelings, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rimming, Sex, Steve Angst, Steve Feels, mentions of physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 16:27:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1476337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hulucthulhu/pseuds/hulucthulhu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He can taste the blood on his teeth. Feel the bruises staining his eye socket. And there’s Bucky. looking better than he has in years. In a uniform. He almost wishes the guy he’s fighting punched him out cold.</p>
<p>“Sargent James Buchanan Barnes,” his friend states.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s happy for him. He’s proud. He was right though, Bucky is leaving."</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Round Midnight

He’s still alone in the apartment, the hazy sunrise pouring through the window as he drags himself off of the old mattress on the ground. He dresses and performs his morning ablutions in a tired trance. Bucky must have stayed at some gal’s place again, he thinks absently. It’s been a few days, maybe he’ll stop by the docks after work, see if anyone at work has seen him, because Steve hasn’t. He knew this would happen sooner or later, he resigns as he slices himself a piece of stale bread for breakfast.

No one at the docks has seen Bucky either, so Steve goes to the movies to try to forget about the fact that he’s been left again.

Dad dies in war, and Steve barely remembers him.

Mom dies of TB, and Steve is an orphan.

Bucky’s parents die, and they’re both orphans.

Bucky leaves, because Steve is worthless.

He picks a fight in the theater, because he wants to fight something bigger than him, even though he knows he’ll get the shit kicked out of him. He wants to take on the sickness, the poverty, the emptiness. He settles for a disrespectful cad.

He can taste the blood on his teeth. Feel the bruises staining his eye socket. And there’s Bucky. looking better than he has in years. In a uniform. He almost wishes the guy he’s fighting punched him out cold.

“Sargent James Buchanan Barnes,” his friend states.

He’s happy for him. He’s proud. He was right though, Bucky is leaving.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you I was going to basic training,” Bucky says as they get ready for their double date. “I didn’t want to-”

“It doesn’t really matter, I’m proud, Buck,” he straightens his tie as they leave. The words are tight in his chest. He is proud. But it’s bittersweet. “How’d you already make sargent?”

“I guess they just fell for my charm,” He laughs and winks at a group of girls they pass on the street, who giggle and whisper. Steve is invisible, but he’s used it it.  


They fight.

There’s Erskine.

He’s going to fight Nazis.

But after Bucky leaves. Because Steve doesn’t want to worry Bucky. Who is asleep on the mattress in the corner when he gets home.

Steve sits at the small, scarred table across the single room apartment, watching the rise and fall of the sleeping form. He wonders, how many nights Bucky sat watching him breathe shallowly, wheezing and coughing, wondering when if he’d take another breath. He opens the bottle of whiskey he bought Bucky for his birthday. He remembers thinking he could never repay Bucky for being his friend, for watching over him. But he doesn’t really care about that right now. He care that it’s over. He cares that Bucky is going to come home a war hero. That he’ll find a wife. And he’ll be gone to Steve.

Among the unpaid bills on the table, he spies Bucky’s enlistment forms.

He didn’t even want this. He was pushed to this. And he’s better than Steve will ever be, and he doesn’t need him.

Steve’s mad. He’s furious. The glass in his hand is flying across the room with all the strength in his frail body. The glass shatters. and Bucky shoots up, roaring and ready to fight, muscles looking like granite in the dim light, boxers slung low on his hips.

“What the fuck! Who’s there?!” He yells, ready to fight an intruder. But after a moment his posture falls from angry to tired, as he sighs, “Steve? What the hell?”

“Sorry. Sorry, Buck. Just...Just go back to sleep.”

But he’s crossing the room, and Steve gets up from the table and walks away before Bucky can lay a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“You gotta talk to me, Stevie” he sighs. “We gotta lot of talk to get in before I go.”

“No, we really don’t. There’s nothing left to talk about,” he leans heavy against the window frame.

“You’re not making any sense,” and he comes face to face with his friend. “What are you goin’ on about? Did I do something? Are you made about those dames from earlier? I left after you left, man. Nothing happened.”

Steve says nothing, refusing to meet the new sargeant's eyes.

“Come on, buddy. Please,” Bucky begs, quietly.

“You’re leaving,” Steve finally says, clipped and tight.

“You knew it was going to happen, Steve. Sooner or later, all of us guys gotta go.”

“Except me.” He pushes himself off the window frame, and paces the small, empty room.

“We need men like you here, Steve. You keep the heart of America going, we’re just fodder. You’re the treasure, Steve. Guys like me, we’re just the tool to keep you safe.”

Steve lets out a sardonic laugh, “A treasure. Right.” He continues to pace, but a firm hand grabs his thin arm.

“You wanna know how I made sargent in a week, huh Steve? The whole time I was there, I was thinkin’ ‘what would Steve Rogers do?’”

Steve’s angry eyes melt into confusion. The hand on his arm doesn’t loosen, like Bucky is afraid Steve will run if he lets go.

“I told myself, ‘you gotta do this for Steve. You gotta make Steve proud. ‘Cause he’s the only thing you got left. You gotta protect him. You gotta be the man Steve Rogers is, because he’d win this war single handedly if he only got the chance I got.’”

“Buc--” he starts.

“No, Steve, listen to me,” he pulls the man in front of him, placing his other hand on Steve’s other arm. “I did this to make you proud. I did this to keep you safe. I ain’t to happy ‘bout leaving either, but I’m coming back. Okay?”

When Steve doesn’t respond, Bucky squeezes his arms gently, “Okay? It’s Rogers and Barnes to the end of the line, pal.”

Steve finally looks Bucky in the eyes. The brown eyes look scared, they look sad, they look beautiful. And the pull is magnetic. There’s no thought to it, just instinct. His chapped lips are suddenly pressed to his best friend’s as he leans up on his tip toes. It’s chaste, but it’s passionate. and then he’s pulling away, as Bucky stands there in stunned silence.

“I--I should--I gotta go,” Steve stammers out as he walks to the door, grabbing his old shoes.  


“Did you drink my whiskey?” Bucky asks quietly, confusion coloring the words.

“Did I--? Is that seriously--? I had two fingers. I’ll buy you a new bottle, okay I just have to go,” he hastily tied the old laces, one of them snapping under his fingers, “shit.” He slumps in the chair, giving up in defeat. He can feel the tears welling within him.

Bucky’s soft footsteps cross the room, and there’s a strong hand pulling him up by the collar. “Are you drunk?” he asks, voice hard. His brow is furrowed with confusion, and he’s grasping Steve’s shirt like it’s a lifeline, not a threat.

“No, listen Buck, it was a mistake,” Steve repents.

“No, you listen,” He says before pulling Steve’s face up to his, lips catching on Steve’s in a fierce kiss, “it’s all for you. It always has been, it always will be.” And he’s pulling the wide eyed blond back to his mouth. “Please tell me you want this,” he mumbles on Steve’s lips as he lets go of Steve’s shirt, hands coming down to Steve’s small waist, “please.”

  
And Steve has never wanted anything else in his life like he wants this. It felt like a hot meal in a starving belly mixed with the rush of a fight. So he lunges into the kiss, almost knocking the other man back with his enthusiasm. And he can feel Bucky smiling into his mouth, and he nips at the upturned lips, his hands running over the smooth muscle of his sides.

Bucky walks them gently backwards, pushing the smaller man against the wall, sliding a firm thigh between the smaller ones in front of him, and surely Steve can feel his hardness through the worn layers of fabric, because he can certainly feel Steve’s. He kisses down the delicate neck as his hands pull thin hips forward, eliciting a breathy moan.

“Why,” Steve panted as the other man sucked a bruise on a sharp collar bone, “didn’t you ever tell me?” and it stops Bucky for a second, and he can feel him exhale like he’d been punched in the gut as he rested his forehead on his shoulder.

“Didn’t think an upstanding guy like you would be into a deviant like me,” he says softly.

Steve nuzzles the other man, and kisses him. “There’s nothing deviant about love.” And he smiles at the other man, a hint of mischief Bucky’s seen before in his eyes. “Now let’s get this show on the road.” His nails scraping across the back of his friend’s neck as he pulled him in for a deep kiss.

Bucky grinds their hips together, precome dampening his tented boxers. “Steve,” he moans as the other man moves back against him. And he’s fumbling with Steve’s belt buckle in the dark, and the buttons on his trousers never seemed so small and frustrating as they did in this moment. But then he has them both in hand, stroking as the moan into the dark room. “Wanted this for so long,” he pants as his hand works them, the slick of their dual arousal easing the slide.

“Yeah?” Steve says breathlessly, “what else did you want?” half laughing, the previous mischief now tinting his voice.

“All of you,” he says, before releasing them, and sliding down Steve’s body, and taking the tip of the slick cock in his mouth, tasting them both. He feels long, thin fingers card through his hair.

“Holy shit, Buck,” Steve moans as Bucky works him, hand sliding over the spit slick dick following the bobbing mouth. “I’m gonna go before you do at this rate.” He says, and Bucky pulls off with a grin.

“Not allowed,” he pulls himself up, letting Steve taste himself as he kisses him. “Bed.”

Steve strips the rest of his clothes quickly. And Bucky is flipping him over, grabbing his ass tightly and spreading him open. He feels exposed, “Bucky?”

“Yeah?” He says playfully before licking up the back of Steve’s balls to his tight hole. And Steve jumps at first, but his friend’s hands on his hips keep him steady as a hot, wet tongue laps at the entrance. “Something wrong?” he asks innocently and brings his finger to circle in the wetness, and slipping it slowly as Steve opens his mouth to answer.

“Oh god, no,” he moans as the tongue is back to working around the base of the finger buried in him. It’s different, it’s strange, but it feels so damn good as he move his hips back, Bucky’s thumb on his hip rubbing soothingly. And soon he’s slipping in a second finger and Steve moans and trembles.

“Can I, Steve?” He asks, licking again. “Can I have you?” his fingers moving, rubbing, and stretching, Steve’s breathing heavy as he pushes back on Bucky’s hand.

“Please, Bucky. Please,” and he’s the one begging now as Bucky slips a third wet finger inside him and he feels so full, but he wants more.

Suddenly the heat of Bucky is gone momentarily, before desperate hands turn him over one more time.

“I want to see you,” his friend says, as his legs automatically open wide, hips canting up on the old mattress. “So fucking beautiful.” And he’s lining himself in, and trembling as he pushes in slowly, feeling the smaller man flutter around him. The blond’s head is thrown back, as he grabs at the threadbare blankets. Bucky worries for a moment that it’s too much, but Steve’s eyes meet his, and a hand comes down to pull him into a searing kiss, and his hips move of their own accord.

They find a desperate pace, and cling to each other for dear life.

Steve’s orgasm builds and breaks, and he’s cursing as his cock spurts across his stomach, and he clenches around Bucky, and he’s moaning Steve’s name and spilling inside him, trying not to collapse on top of him.

After a minute of silence and stillness, he pulls out and rolls off. And suddenly, he’s laughing.

“That bad, huh?” Steve asks, jokingly and laughing himself.

“Holy shit, Rogers.” He’s laughing harder, with glee, with fear, with love.

Steve throws an old flat pillow at him, “What’s so funny?”

“That just happened. The wet dream I’ve been having since I was 13 just became reality, and tomorrow afternoon I go to fucking war,” he laughs, but it peters out after a minute. “Tomorrow afternoon I go to war,” he repeats flatly.

Steve laces his hand with his friend’s as they stare into the dark.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“What happens now?”

“I wish I knew, Buck.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking a lot about what Steve might have felt when he heard of Bucky's enlistment. I might write about when they meet again during the war, and then when Bucky becomes WS. Let me know what you think!


End file.
